Most parents look forward to the "Terrible Twos" with a lot of trepidation. Personally, my sons were pretty good at two-of course they started to say "NO" to everything, which I suppose makes a parent crazy if you are actually taking a two-year-old person's opinion into account, for some strange reason. Yes, kids should have an opinion about their own care and selves, but at two, they are far too young to even have such an opinion taken very seriously. If it makes you really crazy, start saying, "Oh, YES!" cheerfully every time they say "No". My mother did this with my sons, and broke them of the "NO" habit quickly. Also, I noticed I said "NO" to them a lot; it is better to simply and matter-of-factly re-direct the child, saving NO for the important stuff. And every child should be familiar with NO and the fact that you mean it when you say it.
In fact, you should take a bit of wisdom from the Bible, here-"Let your YES be your YES and your NO be your NO." This means, you have a small person with a limited vocabulary. They cannot understand "nuances" in your meaning, yet. Be of few, but important, words. Too many words, and you will confuse that little mind, and a confused child is a brat throwing a tantrum-fewer words, fewer tantrums. More direct words, fewer tantrums. Yes, they will all throw a fit in a store for the pretty things-as people have said, marketers know this, and capitalize on it by making things that 2 year olds will want to throw a fit for. If this is too much for you, keep the kids at home, or just make sure they know you are not buying those items. If you give in once, you are sunk. Never give in, no matter what. A two cannot understand "Maybe", and it is easier to change a NO to a YES than a YES to a NO. It's better to adopt a two year old's attitude and say NO to everything they ask for, for the next few years.
When my boys were about this age, I taught them how to march in a line. This was from my JROTC training-"marching is an effective way to move a large group of people from point A to point B". Therefore, for those of us with more than one child, it is an effective way to navigate the world. I taught them HALT, About Face, and Forward. A simple "stop" when we were out walking meant, "stop at the corner". HALT, on the other hand, demanded a full and immediate stop-used for imminent danger, such as big dogs, or a sudden car in our path. For my second son, a halter and leash were necessary equipment for him, to keep my sanity in public-he was speedy, and naughty, and I was pregnant again, so needed the extra assistance. It didn't affect him at all, and it actually gave him a bit more freedom than holding my hand did.
There is some debate about kids this age and strollers. I am for having them walk everywhere, if they can walk--but if you definitely have to go somewhere, such as with older family members, and you have to make an appearance and stay/walk for a long period of time, I would still have a small folding stroller for them. Little legs get tired, and parents get tired of carrying kids. However, when a little person gets tired of walking, they probably have been out long enough, and serious thought should be given to just taking them home at this point. I understand you can't, always, but expecting a small child to keep an adult's schedule is like your having to run the Boston Marathon, and who can blame a kid for breaking down?
When kids are really learning how to eat independently, it helps to put a damp washcloth under their bowl or plate--you can use it afterwards to clean them up. I carried a damp washcloth around in a baggie with me until my youngest was about ten, because he was constantly getting dirty and it was just handy to have around. Foods should still be cut up for them at this age-all of mine choked on food once at this age, and it was popcorn each time-so be very careful what they are eating, and how fast. They have no idea about how choking works, at this age, and can easily over-stuff their mouths.
In fact, in the seventies, there was an ad on television about the sound a choking child makes--and they played several seconds of silence. My eldest once choked on a model train axle, and if he would not have grabbed the back of my legs, since I was busy washing dishes, I would never have known in time-but he was making no noise, and quickly turning purple. I tried everything I knew to do, and then just did what I knew I wasn't supposed to do-stick my fingers in his throat-but I grabbed that thing, and yanked it out of his throat, and he gasped and was fine. It was the single most scary moment of being a mother that I have ever had. Both of us were crying after that one!
Know how to save your kids' lives, and take a First Aid and Life Saving Class. They are very important-you never know when you are going to need those skills.
It was very funny, too, a few months later, when he was playing with a bread wrapper, and my mom and I both said he was too smart to do something dumb, like put it over his head. Which he instantly did. So every kid is dumb-not really dumb, just inexperienced--and totally dependent on us to keep them safe.
Of course, your two year old has worn his last diaper-on his second birthday, right? Because if you wait until they take the inkling to do something totally foreign to them, they will be really difficult to potty train later on --take my word for it. Girls are notoriously easier to train than boys; they might actually "get" that they are to use the potty--but boys will act like that's a foreign object that they have no use for-why use that, when MOM changes you all the time? Simply not in a boy's realm of caring. It's your job to make him care about that. A word though--in my mother's time, many years ago, it was thought the child was "potty trained" when he or she first used the potty. Now, kids have to use it every time without error to be deemed "trained". This is a ridiculous expectation for a small child. If he or she understands what the potty is and what it is used for, and reasonably uses it most of the time, I call that kid "trained". We all make mistakes, so go easy on your child and yourself. Aim for "most of the time"---and they will eventually catch on completely, especially when they are around other kids that are trained. Make sure they have this sort of company at the end of training. Also, only use Pull-Ups when absolutely necessary-like long car trips. Otherwise, in their own bed, a sheet of plastic inserted under their bedsheet and pinned securely (so that the child cannot get under it and get hurt) to their mattress shields the mattress from accidents, and then you can just invest in more sheets until the child is trained. You will do a lot of laundry, for a while. But not forever!
Older twos can do simple, helpful jobs around the house-they can hold the dust pan when you sweep the floor, or sort socks. It is important to read to your child all the time, but by now you can start doing some learning of letters or colors, or numbers-don't expect full compliance, but expose them to things like that anyway. It will be fun for you, and fun for your child. Yes, some kids you meet will be past yours in development, but unless your doctor is alarmed, just enjoy your kid the way they are. This age doesn't last for very long, no matter if you feel like you're on an endless treadmill of work or not. They do grow up very fast!
No comments:
Post a Comment